Seasonal Living - Spiral Path

Give Permission to Your Animal Self: Hibernation, Rest & Cauldron Time

by Moss | Dec 20, 2023 | Seasonal Living

In a recent session for the Winter’s Embrace course cohort, we were reminding ourselves our the animal self within us and I wanted to share that reminder here.

I believe that in Winter, more than at any other time of year, it is vital to give ourselves permission to listen to, and act upon the voice within us, within our bodies and minds, asking us to slow down and rest.

Within the dark heart of Winter, it is ironic and problematic that we are presented with Christmas as a small window of time when we are allowed to slow down, but with the expectation that this is a fleeting pause that comes sandwiched in between intense preparation for this period with extra planning, social engagements, purchases, expectations and pressures piled on top of our usual responsibilities.

The dreamy and cheery vision of a restful Yule is for many an illusion. So, how can we find more balance between heeding the call on us to respond to Winter as the rest of nature does, by slowing down, resting more of hibernation? Here’s a few thoughts…

Firstly, let’s get the difficult one out of the way – boundaries! If we are unhappy with either the amount of restful time or the expectations placed on us during Winter celebrations, the main way in which we can create change is to ask ourselves what needs to change, what causes us discomfort or unease, and set boundaries that honour our needs. Setting boundaries isn’t too hard, but it can get tricky when you need to communicate and maintain them in the face of friends, family or colleagues. But changing our behaviour and our expectations, not only benefits us, but also shows others that they have a choice in how they move through this time. For example, one boundary I’ve set around this time which has had such a big positive impact for me is releasing gift giving and receiving (for more on reconsidering gifts, making boundaries around Yule and more, get your free Reframing Christmas zine download here). I know this won’t be for everyone, but it’s a good example of big change that can help you feel more in alignment with yourself rather than acting out of pressure or guilt.

Something else that I recommend strongly is to really make rest a priority. That won’t happen automatically, believe me I know – there’s always more I know I could be doing. So until you block out a little time specifically to slow down and enjoy some restful time, alone or with others, it won’t land in your lap.

There’s a few different ways you can approach this. You might want to take advantage of the long nights to get a few extra hours rest in the evenings if that’s a possibility. Or you may want to consider a set time period where you will only do light activities and minimal chores and responsibilities. This year, for me this looked like clearing out jobs form my diary that can wait until next year and putting a message out on social media that I’m hibernating so would be less active online and in my business generally. I’ve been choosing to read and make dried orange and popcorn tree decorations instead of planning a new course for example. You can include taking some time off work maybe, or trying to find some extra childminding if that’s one of your needs.

If you want to go deeper into rest, I’d really recommend taking some Cauldron Time. This is my name for taking a set period of time (from a few hours to a few weeks, whatever is possible), to really set aside everyday pressures and slow right down. My Cauldron Times usually include walks, yoga, ritual, sleep, reading, journaling, detox and digital detox, but you will know what is right for you that is self-loving and deeply restful. If you want to know more about this, you can take the pre-recorded course, ‘Into the Cauldron’ here, or read more about it in this Instagram post.

I want to finish off by cycling back around to where we started, with our animal selves. Animals are wonderful at acting on their needs and they do so (presumably) free from guilt, unlike us human-animals. It’s so important to acknowledge that our natural state is to be impacted by the seasons and weather, but long gone are the day where we were free to respond to the needs of our bodies and minds as a collective, societally. Therefore when I say things like, ‘rest is radical’, ‘re-enchantment is resistance’, I really do mean that in heeding what our bodies and minds are asking us to do in response to, in this case, Winter, we are actively de-stabilising the extractive society that has raised us with deep productivity conditioning, and we are showing others this is possible too.

The expectations of social pressure are often so deeply ingrained in us that we don’t notice it, and Christmas and the Gregorian New Year are choc full of these pressures. I want you to hear me when I say that it is in no way selfish, it is a beautiful, radical, natural act to prioritise rest and slowing down. I know it’s not easy, and can be a tightrope walk to navigate these issues, but I want you to know that you have the power to give yourself permission to explore rest, and that whenever you do so, I am cheering you on, with great respect and with a vision for new ways of living burning quietly within me.

Blessings during this sacred pause of Solstice time, from my cocoon to yours

Moss xx

NEW YEAR, SAME ME! Resolutions, Vs Goals & Avoiding Toxic Expectations

by Moss | Jan 1, 2023 | Seasonal Living

Maybe you love resolutions and write a long list every year? Or maybe you find them oppressive or unhelpful? Either way it’s the same every year isn’t it? The toxic beauty standards and unrealistic, often ableist pressures come out in full force in the form of expected New Year’s Resolutions.

Sadly such resolutions can damage our confidence but also often set us up for failure too. We’re encouraged to express grand aspirations such as ‘I want to be healthy, I want to change career, I will stop smoking’ etc, that reinforce societal norms. The problem is, the types of new year’s resolutions we are often expected to take on are heavily shaped by living in a fat-phobic, ageist and productivity driven culture, that exists to profit from our insecurities. If the pressure tied up with resolutions is bad for your health or wellbeing, leave them behind. But what are the alternatives?

Off the bat it’s absolutely worth stating that not everyone wants to change and that is a beautiful thing. Cultivating gratitude and acceptance is just as important as striving to change. To my mind, resolutions often seek to distance us from who we are, whereas goals can bring clarity, confidence and empowerment. There are such powerful forces at work that aim to undermine us and always be seeking more, seeking the new, that to sit with acceptance is a radical act, so please don’t see this text as a further call to change unless it’s wanted. Goals aren’t for everyone, but if you think they may work as well for you as they have for me, read on.

Goals are for life, not just for New Year! The Gregorian calendar doesn’t reflect the shift into a new life cycle. We’re still in deep Winter, meaning for many it’s the worst time of the year to think ahead, to plan and be aspirational. Much of my work encourages folks to lean into Winter for rest and inner exploration, and that certainly doesn’t end at the stroke of midnight, New Year’s Eve! Thankfully though, we can use Winter’s embrace to dream into the dark, to reflect, to incubate our hopes and plans if we wish. If the Gregorian New Year doesn’t speak to you as a time to set goals, here’s your permission to wait until it does. Resolutions promote going with the majority and that our hopes reflect societal expectations, but it is well considered, personalised goals, made at the right time and regularly revisited that help us create change that is for us, based on our needs and not others values!

For those seeking development at the opening of the year, one positive thing about resolutions is that they show us our desires and the version of ourselves we want to be. But that image of ourselves can also be a projection of who we think we should be, or who we think others want us to be, so be careful there. This falsity is another reason why resolutions can be toxic. But we can gently dream into that self and use small, loving and realistic steps to integrate our vision.

Resolutions are absolutely tools of capitalism and colonialism. For one thing, unobtainable resolutions are often based on an inherent view of our bodies as machines, a perception based on enslavement. In this white supremisist, ableist view, the onus is simply on us to try harder, push further and expect nothing less than constant improvement. This also relates to the systemic disconnection from our bodies and from nature. If we can better accept and embrace the animal nature of our bodies, it releases some of the intense pressures we place on our bodies, both individually and culturally, but also helps us recognize our place as A PART of nature, not APART FROM it.

The New Year is a peak moment for big business to grab us and key into our biggest fears and insecurities. The 2022 global beauty industry was worth over £395 BILLION (Statista) and it’s worth a reminder that this money is invested in targeting you, yes you, and everyone around you, and often we’re not as immune to those pressures and we might hope and expect. New Year provides the biggest point of the year for companies to undermine our self-confidence, and it can be a tough thing to fight against.

Goals offer us a better way than resolutions to truly create realistic, self-loving and lasting change in our lives. But here’s the rub, in order to be effective we need to work at our goals. Afterall it’s a capitalist mindset that tells us we can have instant results if we simply part with some cash or craft an illusion of change.

As well as being something to work at, we need to put more time and thought into the goals we create if we really want to see them through. One way of framing that is SMART goals. Now I hate acronyms, so if you do too, bare with me… SMART goals are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound. Now if you want to geek out about this you could start here: https://www.founderjar.com/smart-goals, but the general point I want to make here is that you will be doing yourself a huge favour if you get really specific on what you’re aiming for, know what achieving it looks like, deeply accept what is within your reach and, ideally, give yourself a deadline to achieve it, or at least start the first steps. There’s some nice tips on alternative systems here: https://www.blog.doist.com/unconventional-goal-setting.

So this may sound restrictive, but honestly getting into these kinds of details about the change you want to make, gives your a better chance of getting to where you want to be. Also, to me, working towards my future in this way is an act of self-love. It’s empowering and I know I’m working towards realistic change rather than increasing the chances of either knocking my confidence or setting goals based on societal expectations over my own beautiful liberatory dreams.

But this is just one system and, as with all things you know yourself best, you know how your mind works, where your capacity is at and what works for you better than anyone else does. So whatever means you can use to create goals you feel are realistic, try it, experiment. The one-size-fits-all approach to resolutions is another reason they fail.

My advice here would be, try to check in with your dreams and goals regularly, when you have the spoons, and ask yourself repeatedly, what’s the next/easiest/smallest step I can take in the right direction? And remember, sometimes the best step is to rest, stop, step back, dream and allow your vision time to emerge and your body time to feel into the path ahead.

Lastly, it’s vital I add a note about marginalisation, oppression and goals. In my new service, Labyrinth Life Coaching (launching early 2023), I’ve expressly stated it is a radical coaching offering. This is because life coaching, like resolutions, often ignores the impact of marginalisation on our hopes, dreams and expectations. Dreaming is a beautiful and radical act and is so important to help us move forward in ways right for us, but if we set goals for our lives without acknowledging our current limitations, the societal pressures and oppressions pressing on us (whether internalised, external or often both), we’re not being self-loving, we’re being restricted. The onus can’t all be on us to create great change, not when the system is set up to keep us small and what we really need is radical community care to enable us ALL to grow and thrive. For marginalised folks particularly, the odds are stacked against us, and we often have to seek healing and support from ourselves, families and communities when it should be a right for all, but in acknowledging our current needs and boundaries, hopefully with the help of our communities and support systems, we can find ways to reach beyond our blocks and so step closer to our true selves (with the added bonus of giving that which seeks to bind us, the middle finger!).

The take home points about goal setting are:

Start with the lowest possible expectations, you can always increase and alter goals.

Be kind to yourself (don’t set damaging goals, try to create self-loving goals instead)

Always seek to do what is right for you

Have a great year ahead!

The Flame of The Season Burns Low: Embodying and Embracing Winter

by Moss | Dec 3, 2022 | Seasonal Living

Around this time each year I unconsciously start trying to find representations of the feeling that has started to grow within me in these darkening days. Winter creeps slowly into mind and body and before I know it, there’s that feeling again! I don’t know why I’m even surprised anymore.

How will I ever put this feeling into words so I can share it with you? I think that’s why I seek it from others, so I can have it presented to me from another’s mind, showing me I’m not alone. I scour my library shelves, go deep into Winter Solstice, Yule and Christmas rabbit holes online, seeking the right story, the right mythology, folklore or song, but I’ve not yet found it. Maybe you can help?

Winter unfurls deep in my bones, spreading slowly like delicate hoar frost in the land around me. It feels like the cold, laying heavy on my skin as well as on my heart. For a weight is what it is, but an unspeakably old one at that.

In the time around the Winter Solstice images emerge from my subconscious, the life force of the land withered down to the smallest of flames as all around me is shedding, dying back, all save the evergreens who keep that flame burning. The lifeforce is still thrumming but barely illuminates the walls of the cave in which it sits … then the old stone wheel of the year, concept made manifest. The sun wheel, cycle of the seasons, now grinding, slowed to almost stillness as the Earth slumbers and turns within…

These snippets come close to this bodily feeling, spiritual knowing. This season takes me back, back and back into the hearts and lives of my ancestors. Archetypes reach out of time and promise the embodiment of the season, the Green Man, Holly King, and there’s the tomte, Cailleach, Krampus and Cernunnos as psychopomp, and others still, I feel them calling but don’t yet know their stories.

So, I’m saying this season feels ancient, the scent of decay rising in the dark, the warmth of my hearth-fire on my skin so familiar to my ancestors, the heartrending beauty of vibrant ivy on moss, of cleansing frost on fallen leaf and the comfort of blankets, shawls and endless layers. Somehow, I feel closer to the past, closer to those who have come before me and, more than that, closer to very heart of the Otherworld and all of its beings and lore. I seek on, trying at my altar too, reaching out in the dark behind my eyes, walking the inner realms and seeking communion, companionship with this darkness, with the symbols of this ancient season.

How can I expect to find anyone who can conceptualise this connection to deep past, this feeling wrapped up neat and served to me from this mundane world, from this modern age and from another mortal mind? I guess that’s the point; only turning within, immersion in the arms of the dark, the gods, my guides and ancestors, only they can know what I seek perhaps… time to go ask…

But before we part ways onto different paths, welcome to this fledgling blog and please do comment below. I’d be fascinated to hear if you relate to this feeling of Winter embodied.

If you want to dive deeper into the Solstice, into Yule, rather than following the same tired expectations around Christmas, download the ‘Reframing Christmas’ zine on the free page. Or if it’s a deep dive into the magic of the season you’re after, check out the ‘Reenchantment is Resistance’ workshop replay. Lastly, if you want to give the gift of insight, consider a tarot reading gift certificate from the Offerings page.

May your Winter be cosy, restful and insightful

Moss x